Ever Asked Yourself What Your Purpose Is? THIS Is What You’re Truly Here For.
Holy F…. ish!
This totally floored me.
Well, I’ve been driven a lot by trying to liberate myself from people pleasing, from living the expectations and plans of others. There was thunder rolling in my life all summer, fall and winter last year, I broke free from tons of restrictions.
Disobey with Grace isn’t just a fancy phrase.
I’ve moved (not very gracefully) through long stretches of depression, anger, rage.
I needed to vent, to stomp and scream.
It was like the initial phase of my true path.
It was lots of hurt ego, pride and sense of (lower) self.
Me, me, me. I need, I want, I deserve, I am.
I got stuck at one point. Didn’t know why. It felt like wading through slowly hardening concrete. Think confusion, despair.
WTF? I’ve fought SO HARD to claim my voice!
Now I’m hoarse and nothing seems to work out?!?
And then I remembered.
I was stuck in the toddler phase of my evolution. My sense of self was on the verge to transform into something more humble, mature.
I started to genuinely feel a desire to serve something bigger than “me, me, me”.
Somebody said to me: if you don’t have a deep and meaningful relationship with God/dess (or The Universe, Higher Power, whatever you call it), you’ll get in trouble – better get this fixed quickly!
Last summer I was praying every day:
“Please empty me, make me vast and open, let me be your sacred vessel, let me serve you.”
Then I forgot about it. Life happened.
The past few weeks I finally returned to this sense of the bigger picture. A craving of connection and service to God/ Universe.
And it’s true, God is in everything.
It’s time to allow this knowing to blast our minds open and to offer ourselves to serve in whichever way is asked of us.
I’m still stumbling on this path, with weak knees and shaky voice some days. Almost overwhelmed by the greatness of existence – and how it fits in this tiny, flawed body, mind and soul.
This thought always makes me dizzy…
We’re literally swimming in God/ Universe, the bigger picture. Some all giddy to get their little egoic needs and expectations met, screaming and fidgeting. Others more calm, surrendered in service.
All we’ve got to do is reach out and connect, be touched by the universal mystery that’s surrounding us in every atom.
Let it in.